Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
Last Reviewed:
Reviewed By:

You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe with everyone you spend time with. Don't settle for anything less.
Green flag or red flag?
How can you tell if a relationship is healthy or not? Here are some things to look out for. Green means healthy! Red means watch out.
Being Yourself
You can be yourself. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not.
Isolation
They try to keep you away from your friends and family. You feel isolated. You might feel like the person is the only one who you can rely on.
Bullying
They can be mean, hurtful, or try to control you.
They put down how you dress, your culture, where you come from, etc.
They might act more friendly when you are alone together than when their friends are around.
They play mean tricks on you.
They make you feel small.
Kindness and Support
You are kind to each other.
You say and do nice things to make each other happy.
In a healthy relationship, people lift each other up and cheer each other on.
You’re there for each other through good times and bad, offering encouragement and help.
Gaslighting
They make you doubt your own feelings, perceptions, or sanity.
They constantly tell you that you're too sensitive, that you're overreacting or that they are “just joking when they say or do mean and hurtful things.
Listening
They care about what you have to say and listen when you talk.
Controlling and Jealous
Always suspicious about your activities.
Controls you with threats.
Control how much time you spend with friends and family.
Sulks when you don’t do what they want.
Threatens suicide when you try to pull back from the relationship.
Respect
People in a healthy relationship respect each other's feelings and ideas.
They don't say mean things or hurt your feelings on purpose.
You respect each other's culture.
Safety
You always feel safe and they don’t make you feel scared or worried.
Secrets
They ask you to keep secrets from people you trust.



Safety
Remember if you or someone else in your family is in immediate DANGER: Call 9-1-1 or your local police station if 911 is not available (if you can, go to another room or a neighbour's place to call).
What Rights and Responsibilities Do I have at the Age...
International Rights of the Child
UN Convention on the Right of the Child that apply to you up until you are 18. All children have the right
- Not to be discriminated against
- To live, be safe and develop to your fullest potential
- To have a voice heard and respected in decisions that impact you
- To have adults make decisions about you that are in your best interest
Dig deeper in Kids have rights!
Have a Voice
Adults making decisions about you should take your views seriously, even if they might not always be able to do exactly what you want.
This right becomes especially important if your parents are separating or you are in the government’s care. You have the right to express your views on things that impact your life. See Your Rights in Care: What You Need to Know and Dealing with Your Parents’ Separation or Divorce.
Register for List of Future Votes
The minimum age Canadian citizens can vote in municipal, provincial or federal elections is 18. If you are 16 or 17 you can register on the List of Future Voters which will automatically register you to vote when you turn 18. You can learn more about registering to the Future Voter list at Elections BC.